You may say I’m a dreamer

But I’m not the only one. (Imagine. John Lennon)Dreams

I recently changed my Facebook header picture to this and was a bit taken aback by a comment someone made about it.

 Friend :I’m impressed .. thoughts normally alien to your philosophy I think.

Well I didn’t think so. This Is how the conversation went. (abridged version)

Me: Really? You can’t just wait for something to happen. Some action needs to be involved to change things. Don’t get me wrong, I think people need to stretch what they think is possible, be open to and embrace change. Too many people limit possibility by believing they can’t change their life.

Friend: Wow .. amazing philosophy .. you are on form tonight
I thought I always was.
After a restless night, following this exchange two days ago,  I started making some notes at 3 am on the ipad that lives by my bedside. I have edited them, you may be relieved to hear, but not as much as I thought I would have to. Rambling at 3 am it seems is a good thing for me to do. I called the ramble Dream Plan Go and that was going to be the title of this post, then discovered someone had beat me to it. Put a link to it as it is a useful resource. And sharing is a good thing.

So here is the abridged version of the rambling mind of an insomniac…

Planning or dreaming.

Both. Dreamers plan, planners dream. Nothing is achieved without planning, then taking action. Yet sometimes you have to wait to see what happens… go with the flow somehow, and notice.

Those that just plod on, accept what they think is their lot, are neither dreamers or planners. Nor are they waiting to see what happens, they are not noticing what is happening in the universe.

They don’t see beyond what their life is. If you don’t have dreams, your life won’t change. If you can’t see beyond what your life is now and what it could be like, (dreaming) and then work out how to make this dream  a reality by planning then putting a date on it, taking steps toward that goal, it won’t happen.

Someone who doesn’t know me very well remarked on my profile pic that this was different to my usual philosophy. I don’t think it is. Yes I say that you have to dream to change things, be the change, believe things can be different, and I guess maybe part of me used to dream of a different life and thought it was not possible and now I know it is as I’ve surrounded myself mostly with people who made their dreams a reality.  Dream plan do. Because you have to take action.

Dreaming

My dream is to see more of the world. House sit to save accommodation costs and have luxury accommodation and live like a local not a tourist. But I want to be a tourist sometimes, join tours, go,on safari. Be with groups sometimes and other times not. Discover food in India and SE Asia and Melbourne and Broome WA, lie on a hammock and read and climb mountains. But those dreams won’t come true without planning.

What do I need to do? Create as mood board?
Plan year ahead? When where? Melbourne. Dates already in diary.

What have I done to achieve the dream?

Downsizing to save money and be debt free was a dream. Planning was to sell house buy a small one, as a base and an investment and use cash to travel.

Sometimes life throws curve balls that can mess with dreams and plans. So dreams of downsizing and driving through  Europe last summer were changed due to a request in January to be a house sitter in Melbourne for June and July 2015. My dreams didn’t change, but I noticed the opportunities and went with the flow. And then made plans.

The trip to Melbourne made us both (me and my husband) realise how much we wanted more travel in our lives and not wanting a big house that was draining our resources of both time and money. The house was sold. In reality that had been the plan all along, I had been decluttering and staging the house for a while. Since February 2012 to be precise.

Obstacles

Stuff and life got in the way. These needed addressing, important stuff. I noticed this and worked through them. This stuff, my mom dying, my depression, the impact that clearing her clutter had on me was, in the end, my road to recovery. I promised my kids that they would never have to deal with my clutter. I recognised that I had the same traits to hoard. I noticed, I worked through it and I wrote about it – this was my Prozac, the writing.

What are the dreams? Let’s capture them and write them down.

Dreams of a camper van and living in Crete. No plans made yet. Because of a relatives serious illness. But the dream is still there. Parked for now.

Invite to Melbourne again eats up summer holidays already. Yet I love Melbourne so I don’t mind and I already knew that this is where we would be. And Greece in the summer is too hot. So we may go in spring or autumn.

Not Dreaming

Some will not have those dreams. Just excuses. ‘I could never afford to go to Australia’ (same person then buys new car/bigger house/designer clothes or a 2 week AI holiday that costs more than the flights to Melbourne). Or they have the dream but don’t put a date on it.  ‘I want to go to India/France/Weston ‘someday’. A dangerous word, someday.

It’s about choice. And self limiting beliefs and buying the lie. That you have to work defined hours for 40 years and get a pension and then finally be free from the shackles of work.

If you hate your job change it. Leave it. I did. I didn’t have a plan mind you. But it was making me so unhappy, it was making me ill. I walked away over 10 years ago from a job with a big firm, best thing I ever did.

This time I do have a dream and few plans… apart from for the house to be fixed up and to be in Australia by July 11.  I have been playing with IKEA kitchen planning tools to work out how to make a small space. I found a builder through social media networks, my she shed  will be in the garden in 10 days time. I am looking at tours in Australia either side of the Melbourne house sit. And some other house sits in Australia.

Drop the not from cannot. I can do it I choose not to. 

  • Why won’t you do leave/change your job?
  • You say you cannot afford to? Why not? How could you afford to?
  • There are no other jobs to apply for? Really? Have you looked?
  • Do you have to work the same hours? Could you work fewer hours ? Have you checked?
  • Stay inn your job perhaps and then use the spare time to dream, plan and go.
  • If you could do anything on the world what would it be? What do you need to do that?
  • Write them down. Now you have a beginning of a plan. From a dream to a plan.
  • What do you need to do now? Research, tell people? I find that helps to make things happen. Put a date on it.

This is what happened for me, true stories.

I was interviewed for a much wanted post for the library service, delivering The Big Lottery Community Libraries Programme.  The fact that it was a 18 month contract was great for me, not a problem, because I said I would go travelling at the end of the contract. Told everyone that was the plan. So I had to do it.

After leaving my job with the corporate firm I wrote everything I wanted from a new job. Top of the list was no commuting followed by part time. And I got  it. Not a perfect job and only for a year but it opened up opportunities. I met people who are still in my life. That experience led me to my next job, and eventually to my second favourite job ever (the library service) and that (and great managers and work colleagues)  enabled me to build on the skills I had in community development.  All to be ready to do what I did in my most recent and best job ever.

And all of this started years before this when feedback from an interview was that I needed more experience in community work. I listened, I noticed and I planned. I went and got the experience and 5 years later, the same organisation who gave me that feedback (the library service) employed me.

I am a multipotentialite – I just didn’t know it.

Yes I have had a lot of jobs in my lifetime. Between the ages of 22 and 28 I had 8 (eight) jobs. In those 6 years I graduated, I got married and had a baby, rented one house and bought two. Then moved with my family to Birmingham, to a job in Birmingham which I secured after a brief conversation on the platform of Green Park Tube Station. Just counting up I seem to have had 16 jobs (I think) since 1981. Recently discovered there is a word for what I am. Multipotentialite. It was a relief to discover that it is not just me. It is ok not to have one true calling. Because, before seeing this I was concerned that I may be a bit flaky.

It is ok to ask for help

For my  last job I sought help from friends who helped me put a good application together. I recognised the need for an objective person to help me identify and recognise my skills and achievements. I had not worked for 3 years, I’d had a bereavement, I had lost confidence, I had been ill.

Ask for help. Listen to those who know you.

And ask those who know the you now, not the person you used to be.

Or someone who doesn’t know you at all. A life coach perhaps. I met my coach because I did something different to what I would usually do. I went to Nettlefest. Then I went to Conscious Camp. I noticed. I was ready to leave the safety of the chrysalis, my comfort zone, the blanky I had wrapped myself up in for too long.

After two group coaching sessions, I then had one to one coaching via Skype with Lisa Cherry Beaumont. Suffice to say the end result was as if that all those post its I had all over the place about what I wanted out of life, that were indicative of my chaotic life, were now all on the same page. Yes a curve ball changed some of those and that was a good thing.

When I had a house selling dilemma Lisa got me to write in down and put a date on it. And yup, spot on everything on that list ticked.

Where to start?

What skills do you have? What skills do you need to learn? What skills are transferable? What skills do,you have and don’t use at work? It could be cooking, sewing or writing? What skills do you have and never use? What do you love doing? What, when you are doing it, makes time fly?

Notice.

This morning, after re reading and editing  the brain dump that is the body of this post,  I was thinking I need to plan out how I want 2016 to look. Not a New Year Resolution list, more a dream, plan, do list.

A 3 am outpouring of all that was going around in this brain is all well and good but I need to write down what I am going to do, vision it. And put a date on it.

I have been occupied with chores and a personal issue that needs dealing with for most of the day and so the planning was parked. Sometime life is like that, stuff needs to be done. Right now. An unplanned drink with friends resulted in getting useful advice about said issue. One that needs to be resolved before any plans can be made for almost anything else, particularly travelling. That done I come home and decide that this post needs to be finished and log on and and of course check Facebook and…

discover that my lovely life coach has posted a link to a year planner.

That my friends is the universe working for you. Notice the signs.

 

2 thoughts on “You may say I’m a dreamer

  1. The thing is Coral. friends, even those we consider best friends, heck, even close family, don’t really know us. They THINK they know us, but they never really do.
    Speaking as somebody who’s relationship with a “best” friend of over 40 years ended recently, she really didn’t have a clue who I was and was so totally wrong about everything. She liked me the way she thought I was, or wanted me to be. Who I really am is too strong, too powerful, too joy filled and too damn happy for her small world.
    In the words of Taylor Swift…Shake It Off!

    1. Oh, I am pleased this person said it, it gave me a lot to think about. Frustrated I am not travelling and this gave me the chance to reflect on where I am and where I am going. I am happy and a lot has happened in the past 6 months. Also they are very much the devil’s advocate type of person. They are relatively unconventional and travel a lot they will read it and have a laugh. I have broad shoulders. And tidying out friends is not a bad thing. Friends for a reason, a season and some for life. And lots more to meet hopefully.

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